


Across Five Decembers (Plus One)

by in_motu_proprio



Series: Five Decembers [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, But that's not until the +1, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Eventually it won't be G rated, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Slow Burn, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:47:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_motu_proprio/pseuds/in_motu_proprio
Summary: Natasha and Steve keep coming together for Christmas traditions over the years, getting progressively closer over the years.  This is the story of a slow burn across five Christmases.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Series: Five Decembers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575388
Comments: 16
Kudos: 178





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Everything through chapter five will be G rated, but the plus one, or chapter six, will be dirty if you're into that kind of thing.

Christmas Eve 2012

Steve’s curiosity was ultimately what got the better of him. Natasha had been in a good mood all day, humming quietly to herself from time to time and generally just seeming… good. It wasn’t unusual, just of note and when she filled up a thermos with something then headed downstairs, Steve decided to follow. He was decent at following but not as good as she was because by the time they got to the garage, she’d made him for sure. Steve was about to peel off and let her do her Natasha thing when she made eye contact and quietly asked, “are you coming or what?” 

He was being invited along on whatever mission Natasha had accepted and Steve was pretty excited about that. The Battle of New York wasn’t too distant in his mind and he could still see her on his shield being flung into the air. That was the first time he realized he liked Natasha Romanov. She was an interesting, brave, beautiful person who deserved to be known. That was part of what had him following her in the first place. 

Steve hurried to get into the car, a nice sedan, with Natasha in the driver’s seat. She pulled out of the underground garage onto the street, a little bit of snow hitting the windshield. She flipped on the wipers but otherwise didn’t talk to him or even acknowledge him. The thought that he’d just gotten into the car with an assassin without really thinking it through popped into his head and Steve wasn’t exactly regretting it but he was having second thoughts. 

She navigated through the streets of New York and out onto the highway. He hadn’t a clue where they were going and that was a little exciting. “Mind if I turn on some music,” she asked once they were on the highway. 

“No, of course not,” Steve shook his head. 

She reached a slender hand out to flip on the radio, navigating around until she came to the station she wanted. Out of all the stations out there, this was the last he’d have thought Natasha would tune into. She’d landed squarely on the Christmas station, all Christmas music all the time from Thanksgiving to New Years. It wasn’t Steve’s cup of tea, but he was shocked that it was Natasha’s. She seemed to relax a little once the carols started coming over the speakers. 

It was getting to the dark part of the evening where all the last vestiges of light were gone, that cold dark part of winter where you just wanted to stay wrapped up in a blanket in bed. Natasha had done the next best thing, she was blasting the heat, making them a cozy little environment to enjoy together. “I had no idea you liked Christmas music.” 

“Only in moderation,” she pointed out. “I’m not Christmas-obsessed like some people are.” She kept the car going at a good clip, flying past people in the slow lanes as though it were nothing to be doing 80 plus. “Do you even know any of these,” she asked with a wave at the radio.

“Some of them outdate me, new arrangements for sure,” Steve said. They were always reinventing the wheel. That’s what humanity was good for sometimes and though 12 Days of Christmas was hundreds of years old, this version was new and jazzy. “But I know most of them. I’m learning, too. Always picking stuff up if I can.” 

“If you can,” Natasha mocked as she cut around a car going too slow. 

“Are you in a hurry?” 

“Not particularly,” Natasha said glancing at her speed and shrugging. “Do I go to fast for you, Steve?”

“Not for me, but maybe for that family in the minivan,” he pointed out with a little smile. 

“Then I’ll be sure to go the speed limit if I ever have a family of four in the car with me.” She started to merge right and Steve got the feeling they would be leaving the highway soon. “You may not like what we’re about to do,” Natasha told him ominously. “But I think you’ll survive the night either way.” 

_Survive the night_ , Steve thought with a little internal gulp. There weren’t a lot of people who could get the better of him but he believed Natasha might just be one. Snow continued to fall, dusting the car as they sat at a stoplight just off the interstate. “What are we about to do?”  
“You’ll see soon enough,” Natasha told him turning onto a somewhat rural road. How long had they been driving in silence at first? He didn’t think they’d gone that far outside New York City. The background of Christmas carols got a little sinister as Steve’s mind started to work overtime on all the things they COULD be going to do. 

You could have knocked him over with a feather when Natasha turned into a subdivision lit up like the Fourth of July with Christmas lights. There were people walking all over and masses of cars parked up and down the main street. Along the side of the road he saw a sign: _15th Annual Light Up the Night._ Natasha found them a parking spot and turned off the car. “Bring the thermos,” she said as she pulled on a pair of gloves and zipped up her coat. 

“Natasha, what’s going on?”  
“We’re here to see the lights,” she told him her posture tightening up as though she expected an attack. 

“To see the lights…. That’s all?” Steve was surprised and just stared at her a minute, blinking slowly. 

“I have done this every year since I came to this country. It started out as a way to keep myself occupied on Christmas Eve, but mostly to keep myself keenly aware of all the American excesses.” 

“So … now?”

“Now I just like it. There’s something about the lights and the music that puts me in a good mood,” she told him plainly. “I invited you because I think you’ll keep your mouth shut about it, though if you don’t I have no problem denying this ever happened. Now do you want to go see the lights or not?” 

“… yeah, of course. We can… yeah,” Steve blinked at Natasha a few times but zipped up his coat and picked up the thermos. “You’re a woman of mystery and intrigue, Natasha Romanov.” 

“More than you know, Rogers.” She slipped out of the car, pocketing the keys as she waited for Steve to round the car. “I like to start on one side and work my way around in an S.” Most of the lights were confined to a two block area so that would work if they did both sides of the street. 

They walked in a companionable silence for a little bit until they got back to the lighted area. They’d had to park a bit away just to get a spot. “Wow,” was all Steve could say as they came to the first house that had a lawn full of blow up creatures and one very large Santa. 

“I know,” Natasha said with an earnest smile. He couldn’t believe how adorable she was when she smiled like that and he decided that his mission was to find anything to make her smile like that. “I’m more for the lights than the inflatables, but they’re nice too.” 

“To each his own, I suppose,” Steve told Natasha as a couple passed them with a few little children. She glanced wistfully at them before her mask slid back into place, but Steve noticed. 

They walked in silence for a little while, stopping to admire each house, Steve wondering how much the electrical bills were for each of these houses when they had all this running. When they got to a particular house, Natasha paused, sighing softly. Steve looked from her to the house, finding that it really was quite beautiful. Well, the house and the woman. This house had blue-white lights in precision-straight lines down the roof and outlining every angle on the house. Blue-white lights joined the trees and shrubs to produce an overall pleasing effect that was rather soothing. 

Steve found himself torn looking between Natasha and the house, eventually giving up trying to hide that he was looking at her. She’d know already. “What,” she asked as they headed to the next house, pulling her scarf a little tighter. 

“Nothing, I just never would have thought you’d like something like this,” Steve pointed out quietly. A man and his daughter passed them on the sidewalk and Natasha stepped in front of Steve to let them pass. He would have bumped into her were it not for his superior reflexes. Still, a hand went out to avoid it, resting on Natasha’s lower back a moment. “Sorry.” 

She just gave him a look at first, “I’m the one who stepped in front of you.” 

“I meant for touching you.” 

She sighed heavily, shaking her head, “I’m not fragile. I’d have thought you’d know that by now,” Natasha told him with a roll of her eyes. “And if it’s propriety you’re worried about, lower back is hardly scandalous.” 

HIs heart was beating fast for some reason and Steve tried not to think about that reason too much. Was she saying he could touch her? It wasn’t that he was going to paw at her, but this was a lovely night and wrapping an arm around a friend wouldn’t be remiss would it? Honestly Steve struggled sometimes with what was appropriate and inappropriate as far as physicality between friends in this day and age. It seemed like men couldn’t touch each other at all anymore and men and women had to be very, VERY careful not to offend or violate anyone. He understood it, it was just hard to navigate sometimes. 

“Want to break into that,” Natasha asked tapping the thermos Steve was holding with her fingertip. Steve had forgotten he was holding the thing and nodded, handing it over as they stepped off the sidewalk to hold for a moment. She poured a healthy amount into the top of the thermos, streams of steam coming off of the piping hot liquid as the snow came down, falling to its demise in her cup. The smell hit Steve right away, hot cocoa. 

She took a sip then offered him the cup, Steve politely taking a sip. Natasha let him have the cup and drank directly from the thermos after that, refilling him once before they started to wander again. Another house had all colored lights that made Steve a little sick to his stomach when they flashed. Another had plastic figures all over the lawn sitting at jaunty angles to the ground in some places. It went on like that for the first block, them sipping their cocoa and looking at houses that flashed or steamed or played music, sometimes all three. 

“This is nice,” Steve told her as they rounded the corner for the second block, smiling softly in Natasha’s direction. To his utter surprise, she reached down and took his hand, lacing their fingers together. Steve’s heart fluttered a little at the way their palms touched. Hers was covered in fine leather, his bare. He silently wondered what it would feel like skin-to-skin, but was smart enough to keep that to himself as they walked hand in hand through the rest of the displays sipping cocoa wishing this night could last forever.


	2. Chapter 2

2013

Religion wasn’t something Steve liked to talk about. It seemed impolite and incendiary these days. Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t a man of faith. He went to Mass a couple times a year, but made sure to get there on Christmas and Easter. That was what he was up early to do when Natasha came wandering out from her room. They'd both been in the city last night to see the Christmas lights, but he hadn’t intended to wake Natasha for this. Again, he didn’t know if she was a woman of faith or would find the fact that he still went to services to be laughable. 

“You’re headed out early,” Natasha said with a glance over Steve. He was wearing a white cable knit sweater over a button up shirt along with a pair of navy pants and shoes. He dressed for church unlike a lot of people today. 

Steve wasn’t actually headed out just yet. He was about to make himself something to drink in the common area. Stark Tower really was a wonder. They’d come together there last night for the lights, but hadn’t been planning anything today. “I’m going to Mass,” Steve told her quietly, trying not to look at her form too much in the tight robe she was wearing. And then before he could stop himself, “you’re welcome to join me if you’d like.” 

“Mass,” Natasha asked. 

“You don’t have to, I just…. didn’t want to be rude.” Steve blushed a little bit, shifting his weight from foot to foot. 

“I don’t think you’re capable,” Natasha teased. “When are you going?” 

“About a half an hour,” he told her. They were the only ones in this part of the tower but he was still trying to remain quiet in deference to the hour. 

“… ok,” she said with a little nod. “It’s been a long time since I was to church. Why not?” And with that, Natasha turned and headed toward her room to get ready, leaving Steve to go to the kitchen and make some coffee. He really shouldn’t have it before he took the Eucharist, but it was a strong habit and he liked it. He didn’t figure God would be that picky either. About fifteen minutes later, out came Natasha looking beautiful as ever in a long red dress that sat around her calves. It had elegant long sleeves that stopped around her forearm and a scoop neck that showed off just a little bit of skin above the design on top. Steve liked the dress a lot. “Ohhhh, coffee,” she said as she came in pleased he’d poured her a cup already. 

“It’s my little cheat,” Steve told her with a serious look. 

“I don’t think God’s going to care if you have some coffee before Mass.” Natasha grabbed an apple from the basket on the table and bit into it, chewing happily as they sipped their coffee. She probably had no idea why Steve wasn’t eating when he’d usually be shoveling it in. 

“We have to-go cups,” Natasha asked crouching down to look in one of the cabinets coming out triumphant. “I swear this kitchen is magic,” Natasha teased handing over a to go cup to Steve. “Every time I need something I just look in a random cabinet and there it is. I think about which is most logical and bam.” She stood, straightening out her dress before pouring herself a nice cup of black coffee and putting on the lid. “Where’s the church?” 

“Brooklyn," Steve told her as they headed for the elevators. “You look lovely, by the way.” He smiled at Natasha who smiled back, high heels clicking softly on the floor. 

“Thank you, you look very handsome.” she reached up to pat his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze before dropping her hand. 

The ride over was uneventful. Natasha tuned in some Christmas music and let it play softly in the background while they cut through the streets of New York. It took a little over a half hour before they arrived at the familiar chapel. Steve parked the car, coming around to offer Natasha his arm though she didn’t need it. “How did you find this place,” Natasha asked. “Did you go here before the ice?” 

“No,” Steve shook his head. “I was looking for places that had a Latin mass and Our Lady of Peace does every week,” Steve told her as they walked with others toward the church doors. 

“Latin,” Natasha said with a raised brow.

“Yeah, I probably should have mentioned that in the initial pitch, but I got a little overwhelmed with the idea of not going alone this year.” Natasha reached down and squeezed his hand, holding it as they walked into the building and only dropping it when it was time to dip their fingers in holy water and make the sign of the Cross. 

Natasha was following his lead so Steve made his motions easily telegraphic for her “I speak Latin,” Natasha told him after an elderly couple passed them on the way to pick out a pew. They seemed hell bent or heaven sent and Steve wasn’t getting in their way. He and Natasha picked out a pew near the middle on an end. Steve pulled out the kneeler as he got in the pew and hit his knees, quietly praying for forgiveness of his sins as Natasha silently observed from next to him on the kneeler. He could feel her eyes on him, silently taking him in. It was weird, but it was also a little comforting to have her there so he wasn’t going to push it. 

Mass started and they began their Catholic Waltz of stand, sit, kneel. Steve relaxed into the pew while they were still sitting, listening to the reading of the Gospel, recognizing most of it though he didn’t speak Latin like Natasha. He remembered enough of it from his childhood. Back then every Mass was spoken in Latin so you had to kind of figure it out. He was sitting close to Natasha, the pews packed this morning and he could feel her every breath. Soon he was far more focused on that than on the Mass. He kept tuning in and out, focus drifting rapidly between two poles. 

When it came time for the sign of peace, everyone was on their feet shaking hands. Families kissed or hugged, and when Natasha turned to him, it was without hesitation that she put her arms around him and embraced Steve tightly. It was a lingering hug where he could feel every bit of her and she could feel every bit of him. Steve found he liked it quite a bit. Natasha was actually an excellent hugger and she hung on for quite a bit, whispering, “Merry Christmas, Steve.” in his ear before stepping back and turning to shake hands with the people around her. 

Mass ended and they were sent to go in peace to love and serve the Lord, leaving the two of them walking silently out of church together and heading toward the car. “I’m starving,” Natasha told him as they got in, looking over with soft eyes. “Want to find somewhere for breakfast?” 

Steve really couldn’t think of anything he wanted more than to spend some more time with his friend, so they found a 24/7/365 diner that they could go to thanks to technology. Heading there, Natasha was quiet, lovely but quiet, and Steve respected that. 

“Thank you for inviting me,” she said quietly as they parked near the diner. Snow was gently falling, coating the front window in little wisps. “The service was lovely."  
“I’m glad you came,” Steve said honestly. And as they went inside to eat it really felt like there was peace on Earth for a short time.


	3. Chapter 3

2014

“I can’t believe you haven’t seen it,” Natasha said to Steve as they came out of Mass on Christmas morning. The Latin had been nice, she seemed to enjoy being able to work on that skill when she could. And, really, it wasn’t often at all Steve imagined.

“Is it such a tragedy that I might have missed some movies,” Steve asked.

“Yes,” Natasha teased but honestly did feel that way if her expression said anything. If he hadn’t missed a few movies, they would never have met. His time in the ice was pivotal to him being there to go to Mass and see Christmas lights with her, it seemed. 

“Well let’s fix that,” he shot back. “We can see it on the tv, can’t we?”

“Yes,” Natasha said trailing off, “but I don’t like to watch movies that way.” That was how they wound up at the Village East Cinema at noon on Christmas day. The showing of _It’s a Wonderful Life_ was starting any moment and they had their popcorn and drinks, ready to watch. “I still can’t believe you’ve never seen this,” Natasha said as the lights went down and the picture started up. 

Steve was with the movie right up until the point the child almost drowned, then he was feeling a bit queasy. Anything about ice or drowning turned his stomach. Much to his surprise a small hand ingrained itself in his, lacing their fingers together for the bulk of that part of the movie. It helped to have that anchor, but Steve was still off his popcorn for a little while. 

By 1932 when George is returning from college, he was feeling a little better and started in on his popcorn again. The movie was really a moving one, showing how important the man was in all these people’s lives, how one little life could make such a difference in the lives of others. The film took a rather dark turn in Steve’s mind, when George was taken out of the equation and you really saw how different things would have been without him there. 

Steve couldn’t help but think of his own missing person and where he might be spending the night this evening. It was Christmas after all, he hoped Bucky was well even if he was hiding very well. To his surprise, Natasha seemed riveted to the film, eyes glued to the screen as she worked her way through her tub of popcorn and candy mixed together. She was clearly indulging herself, letting Steve have her back while she relaxed into the moment. 

By the time Harry was toasting his brother and the movie was ending, Steve could see tears in Natasha’s eyes, unshed but still there. He reached into his pocket and offered up a handkerchief he carried around. She took it and dabbed her eyes, smiling a moment as they stood and made their way toward the doors. “What did you think,” Natasha asked him a little bit later, once his handkerchief was returned. 

“I liked it,” Steve told her. “It was dark for awhile there,” he pointed out. “You think of Christmas movies and I picture a film about Santa or Baby Jesus, not about a guy on the brink of suicide.” 

“Fair,” Natasha told him. “I should really blow your mind and show you Die Hard one day then.” She laughed and Steve laughed along not knowing why but finding it impossible not to laugh when she was laughing. 

“Are you hungry?”“I just ate a giant tub of popcorn and Milk Duds,” Natasha pointed out.

“That wasn’t what I asked,” Steve teased back. 

“I take it you’re hungry?” 

“I’m always hungry,” Steve confessed as they headed toward the car. “What about the place we went last year? They had decent turkey.” 

“Sounds good,” Natasha told him as she slid into the seat next to him, tucking her dress in around her legs. Steve reached in and picked the thermos from last night up out of the cup holder and put it in the back seat, thinking to all the beautiful lights they’d gone to see and just how special this 48 hour period was becoming to Steve. He’d never been much for Christmas. It was hard to be for this holiday when you were broke and sick all the time. But he was neither now, and he had a good friend to spend it with. What more could a guy like him ask for? 

When they got to the diner they were seated near the back wall in an area that ended up being pretty private just by virtue of the fact that they were the only ones here. Steve appreciated that, especially when she quietly asked after Bucky. 

“He’s left virtually no trail,” Steve said sadly feeling rather down for not having found him yet. “We catch wisps of him here and there but mostly he’s a ghost.”   
“You’ll find him,” Natasha encouraged quietly with a sure nod of her head. “The two of you are magnetic. It’ll happen,” she assured him. “But you might have to be patient.” 

“I don’t know how much more patient I can be,” Steve said with some frustration in his voice. “I don’t even know how to communicate with him. We don’t have any back channels or … hell I don’t even know if he remembers me.” 

“He will,” Natasha said with another sure nod.

“How do you know all this? Are you a witch as well as the Widow,” Steve asked as he scanned the menu. 

“Something like that,” Natasha teased. “No, I’m just certain it will happen because I want it to. For your sake… both of your sakes, really.”

“Well thank you,” Steve replied, giving her a little smile as their waitress came over to take their orders. Steve ordered the traditional Christmas plate and Natasha followed suit, both taking it with an iced tea. It was an uneventful meal, the two of them talking about everything and nothing at all. It turned out nicer even than Steve had hoped because at the end of it all, after they’d driven back to Stark Tower and gone to their floor, Natasha stopped him from walking off by pulling him into a soft, lingering hug that ended with her lips on his cheek. Steve didn’t think his heart was going to remain in his chest as Natasha broke off, giving him a little smile before she disappeared into the darkness of her room leaving a confused Steve standing there wishing like hell he had a chance to spend just a little more time with Natasha Romanov.


	4. Chapter 4

2015

This year cities had flown and killer robots coming to get them. Steve had suffered from nightmares almost every night since Sokovia. He hadn’t expected that one night when he was up too late avoiding bed because sleep meant dreams, just checking his email, he’d find a new tradition for he and Natasha. In it was a letter from the VA asking if he’d consider donating toward a Christmas tree to be auctioned off. 

Because he was overly tired and because he always felt slightly guilty that his money and time couldn’t do enough for organizations like the VA, he wrote back offering not only to donate toward one tree but to design another one that could be put up for auction. He woke up the next morning to an email response of an enthusiastic yes and Steve was stuck. Why had he suggested that again? Oh right, Natasha.

He was in the kitchen making breakfast with his sketch pad on the table waiting when she walked in. Natasha had been sparring with someone and was covered in sweat looking incredible as always. “Making some for me,” she asked with a bat of her eyelashes. Steve smiled and turned back to the fridge to grab a few more eggs and some bacon. She followed him and pulled out a container of melon and one with strawberries, setting them down on the table. “Penny for your thoughts,” she asked looking at him and seemingly instantly knowing something was on his mind. 

Steve didn’t bother trying to hide it from her and explained the predicament he’d gotten himself into. “So you have to decorate a tree is what you’re saying.” Natasha laughed. “And design some ornaments so they’re Steve Rogers originals? That’s what the sketchbook’s for, right? You can manage it,” Natasha encouraged. “I can help if you want.”

“Many hands make light work,” Steve said with a little nod, reaching his hand out to shake hers in a deal made. “Do you have time to go shopping later today?” 

“Yes,” Natasha told him, “I’m free today.” They made plans to meet up and go to the local mall to scout out decorations. “How many ornaments are you making?” 

“I don’t know,” Steve replied. “But I figure I can get away with repeating them a few times. Trees being big and round,” he said with a shrug. 

“At least. So we’re looking for garland and lights. How about a theme,” Natasha asked. 

“Nature, natural stuff,” Steve replied. 

“That works. You can do birds, squirrels, wreaths,” she said as she sipped her coffee. “Better get sketching,” she told him as she slid back from the table. “I’ll meet you downstairs at six.” 

Six came around and Steve headed down, finding he was quite excited for the endeavor. He’d done well, fashioning half a dozen ornaments today with nice detail. He had Friday rendering five of each so they were off to a good start. 

The first thing they did when they got to the mall, after the endeavor that was parking, was to go to the center and see the large tree there, Natasha sliding her hand into Steve’s as they looked up at it. “You might want to get some little things to stick in here and there,” she said pointing to a bit of greenery with poinsettias all over it. 

“I like that,” Steve nodded. He was trying not to focus on the skin to skin contact where Natasha was holding his hand. She slid her fingers between his, delicate and small, and he had to remind himself to breathe. Shots of electricity seemed to travel up his arm where Steve and Natasha held hands, inciting him to wrap his arms around her and give her a quick hug right then and there. 

“… what was that for,” Natasha asked as they headed toward the craft store still holding hands. 

“I wanted to thank you,” Steve said honestly stopping himself from saying _I wanted to touch you._ They got to the door of the craft store after a little walk, Natasha leaning in to brush her lips over Steve’s cheek before breaking off to go find a basket. 

They were able to get almost everything they needed from the craft store including garland, lights, tinsel, and several ornaments you could paint yourself. Natasha had thought it would be nice to add to the overall tree something Steve had made by hand and not just rendered. “You should get some acrylics to paint those,” she said of the ornaments, so they headed down that aisle, Steve instantly overwhelmed by the amount of choice on display. He wasn’t a big fan of malls in general, they were too much, too fast, too bright. 

“Here, satin finish,” Natasha told him pointing to a section. “I’ll get you some brushes.” 

And that was how they ended up back at the compound painting ornaments at eleven o’clock at night. They’d decorated with everything else they had, lights illuminating almost every branch because Natasha had thrown an extra strand in the basket. He liked it, though it could probably be seen from space. The silver garland sat all fluffy and sweet on the branches, reflecting the lights. Steve found he was drawn to the look of it in the light of the tree. 

The ornaments he'd rendered were peppered through the tree, tied on with green wire. The whole tree was going to get transported so they had to be extra careful dressing it. Natasha looked down at the ornament she’d been painting and made a face. Clearly she wasn’t a fan of how her snowflake was turning out. “I think this one might be a lost cause,” she said turning it to show a small imperfection. 

“Hardly… we can just add some glitter there and it’ll be fine,” Steve told her with a smile, reaching out to touch the back of her hand. Steve’s heart fluttered in his chest at the contact and Natasha seemed to understand and held his eyes in challenge. If ever there was a time to kiss her, it was now. Yet Steve found that he couldn’t. He was too nervous to even try and just sat there holding her hand for awhile before they continued with their painting. 

By one o’clock, the tree was done and they stood back to admire it. Summoning up all his courage, Steve wrapped an arm around Natasha’s shoulders and drew her close in a loose embrace. She could have escaped at any time but stood there with him for a good ten minutes looking at their work, happy that tomorrow morning the man from the VA would come pick it up for the auction. “May it make the VA a lot of money,” Natasha told him.

“One of many things I’m hoping for.”


	5. Chapter 5

2016

The pair of them being on the run and not together, made it hard to see each other that Christmas for their usual indulgences, but Steve was determined not to let Christmas pass without seeing Natasha. He’d left Bucky frozen in Wakanda, and he couldn’t look up the rest of his team. They were all on the run. But because he had to, because he needed to see her, Steve took the chance and left Natasha a voicemail suggesting they see each other in some of the old familiar places. And that suggestion had him heading out to the suburbs of New York City to see the _19th Annual Light Up the Night_ festival on Christmas Eve. 

It had expanded to three blocks and Steve walked slowly through the crowds with his thermos of hot cocoa hoping beyond hope that she’d show up. Steve stayed the whole night from around seven until the lights cut off at ten, hoping he’d find her. Unfortunately there was no Natasha. 

The next morning he woke early and went to Latin Mass at Our Lady of Peace, making sure to leave a seat on the pew next to him. Surely she’d come for that, surely. Steve hoped against hope that he’d see her for Christmas this year but the longer this went on the less bright his hope shone. “Peace be with you,” the man sitting next to him and he knew that she wasn’t coming. Not to this anyway. 

At noon that day he went to the showing of It’s a Wonderful Life and found that this year he was moved more than he’d been in years previous. He tried not to tear up at the drowning scene, but without Natasha there to hold his hand, he got a little emotional. It was one of many times in the movie, his own mind darker now for having lost Tony and the Avengers. 

Surely if she was going to show up now would be the time, Steve thought as he walked to the diner they usually ate slightly dry turkey. He held the door for a couple coming out, looking wistfully at them and wishing he’d made a move at any point before this just to have said he tried. He missed her intensely as he ate his way through his Christmas plate and slice of pumpkin pie. 

Steve drove to his temporary home silently, thinking that that was it. She wouldn’t know where else to meet him. Their opportunity had passed for this year. Maybe next year would be better, would bring them back together. Steve sincerely hoped so as he turned the lock on his Air B & B and stepped through. And just like that, all the hopelessness disappeared. 

Sitting on the sofa with a book in her lap was Natasha, just a little smile on her lips like she’d accomplished a particularly good magic trick. “Natasha… how did….” he reached out a hand, pulling her to her feet and embracing her tight. Steve let the hug go on for quite some time, unembarrassed by the overwhelming emotion he was feeling. “I went to all our familiar haunts and you were here?” 

“You were in public all day,” Natasha pointed out. She shook her head that it wasn’t a great idea on Steve’s part to be this close to Tony’s home base walking around exposed. He was a wanted man after all. The hug lingered, his arm around her shoulders tight as they stood there, Steve still in somewhat shock at seeing her. “You ok, Rogers?” 

On impulse, Steve bent and pressed his lips softly to her cheek. “So much better now that I’ve found you again.”

“Well it’s only for a couple of hours so don’t get too attached,” Natasha pointed out. “I did however find us something we could do to continue our Christmas traditions.” She nodded to the table with some acrylic paints, brushes, and wooden ornaments waiting to be painted. 

“I can’t think of a better way to spend a few hours,” Steve lied easily because it was clear this was what she wanted to do. She’d had to miss every other tradition they had so why not give her this? Besides, now that she was here in the flesh the thought of kissing her was terrifying. That wasn’t to say he didn’t want to, just that it made his heart beat sideways every time he thought about it for more than a few seconds. “Come on.” 

Steve steered her to the table, noticing that she’d put on her Christmas dress for the occasion, shocked she still had it considering that she too was on the run. Had she risked being caught going to get that dress? He hoped not, though who knew with the lives they led now? 

They sat listening to the Christmas station while they painted, not talking about much of anything at first. They were both weary, grateful for this moment of peace in the insanity. “How did you find me,” Steve finally asked as his brush swished over the wood quietly applying red paint to the surface. 

“I have my ways,” Natasha teased giving him a little smile. “It’s a cute little place.” Steve had picked it because it had Christmas decorations up in the pictures and he hadn’t been disappointed. There was a nice tree and lots of white lights all around the living room. “Close to the church,” she pointed out. No one would know about his penchant for attending Latin Mass other than Natasha so he was pretty safe considering. “Decorated.” She held up her finished ornament and gave it a little twirl on its string. 

“It’s nice,” Steve agreed. It was a one bedroom garden apartment with radiators and a nice sized kitchen, something like Steve would like to own at some point. “Are you hungry? I brought home a plate from the diner just in case,” Steve told her with a nod to the package he’d set down when he entered the apartment and found her waiting. 

“I could eat,” Natasha said with a little one shoulder shrug. Steve got up and headed to the door, intending just to pick up the package and head back. Instead he turned just having picked up the package to find her on her feet. 

“Stay there,” she told him with a nod upward. Steve glanced up to notice he was standing under the mistletoe, mouth hanging dumbly open for a moment before she was on him, pressing her body close. Natasha took the package of food from Steve and set it on the little table next to her before wrapping both arms around his neck, leaning in, and pressing their lips together. 

It wasn’t like their first kiss, though they were on the run then too, this was leisurely and soft, Natasha kissing him with insistent tongue and lips. Steve took a moment to respond, shocked as he was that she would be interested in this, with him. She’d never really shown him many signs except around this time of year and even then it was Natasha. He’d figured even odds on it working out or her knocking his block off. Steve decided it must be a one time thing, and broke the kiss, smiling softly at Natasha. “That was… that was good,” Steve told her honestly, his hand on her hip squeezing softly. 

“Merry Christmas, Steve.”

“Merry Christmas, Natasha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like the story to remain G rated, I'd suggest ending with this chapter. If, however, you want to see what they do now... please read on to the smut in chapter 6.


	6. Chapter 6

2016 Continued

His hand slid down the back of Natasha’s dress stroking the length of her spine as he leaned in to kiss her again. Now that she’d opened the door, it seemed childish not to at least try. “Natasha, I….”  
She silenced him with another kiss, shaking her head because she didn’t need to hear declarations of love or fidelity right now. She didn’t need him saying anything he didn’t mean in the long-term. Natasha wanted this to happen because she had feelings for Steve and didn’t honestly know when she’d be able to see him again. Life was on uncertain footing and that made this all the more special. It was utterly stupid, the two of them being together while they were wanted people. Yet there was nowhere else in the world she wanted to be tonight. In her mind, Christmas was Steve’s.

His hands lingered at her waist, holding her hips as they kissed, not seeming to be in any hurry at all. That was good. Natasha wasn’t either. They stood there under the mistletoe for a good long while necking like horny teenagers and enjoying the hell out of every moment. Steve’s hands felt so good, so strong against her lower back and Natasha leaned into them, loving the way he spread his fingers across the small of her back. 

“Take me to bed, Steve.” Natasha said it softly, eyes half-lidded and dripping with arousal. To her surprise, he scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom, strong arms holding her close, safe. Natasha wrapped an arm around his neck and stroked softly down into the collar of his sweater, playing with the knobs of his spine until he gently set her down on the end of the bed looking like a puppy who didn’t know what to do with this new toy. 

She stood, giving him a chance to do something with his hands, “help me?” She was perfectly capable of getting into and out of her clothing herself, but the zipper was in the back and he was right there. Steve’s hands came to the small zipper, pulling it down slowly. To her surprise, as soon as there was bare skin, there were kisses. Steve pressed his lips to each inch of skin he revealed, making Natasha groan a little in appreciation. 

From the other room, Christmas music played quietly but the overwhelming sound in this room was tied for first place with her heart and the swoosh of her dress hitting the floor. He offered her a hand to step out of it and Natasha took it, letting him stare a moment. Underneath her red Christmas dress, she wore something a little special. She’d put on a very nice lingerie set that Steve couldn’t take his eyes off of. It was a darker shade of red than her dress and looked very sexy against her pale skin if she did say so herself. She liked it because the panties covered one of her worst scars quite nicely and were the type with snaps at front and back so you could easily remove the panel of fabric that ran between her legs and not ruin the aesthetic of the display. 

“My God,” Steve’s hand traced her shoulder, her side, down her thigh then back up to cup her chin before leaning in to kiss Natasha soft and slow. There was no rush though she could feel how he’d already started to fill out against her thigh. No, Steve was taking his time with her. Natasha sighed softly into his kiss as Steve’s hands moved back to her hips. “You are beautiful.” Natasha smiled, taking the compliment though she didn’t always feel that way. “I’ve wanted to tell you that for a long time.” The fact that he blushed at his little confession made her thighs clench. 

Natasha didn’t have a response to that that wasn’t insincere. She could think of a thousand things to say but none of them were right for this moment, so she slid her hands under his sweater and pushed it up over his head, stripping him down a layer at a time until Steve was standing there shirtless. Natasha looked him straight in the eye as she leaned in and ran her mouth over one pert pectoral. The guy was a b cup, she thought with a smile while running her teeth over one of Steve’s nipples. HIs hands went on an expedition of their own as she mapped his chest, boldly running down her sides to her hips then the tops of her thighs, playing with the line where stocking met skin and the long straps holding them in place. 

“Do you want them on or off,” Natasha asked him as his fingers lingered over the top of her garter belt. Natasha believed that since the other party was the one who had to look at you during sex, that you ought to defer to some of their tastes. 

“I’m torn,” he told her. “Part of me can’t take my eyes off of you in this and another part just wants it all off.” He slid his fingertips along the elastic of her waistline, playing with it with a naughty little smile on his lips. 

“You don’t have to decide now,” Natasha told him as she slid her hands to his belt, holding eye contact. “Let’s leave it on for the time being.” Natasha slid the leather end of the belt through the metal, loving the sound that made as the metal jingled against itself. “I’m sure we’ll figure it out.” She kissed him again as her hands slid down the front of his pants, making very intentional contact with his hard cock. The fabric of his pants seemed thin, either that or he was just _that_ hard. She hoped for the later. “Sit on the end of the bed.” 

Steve didn’t have to be told twice as he hurried around her and sat, leaning back a little despite the hand on the back of her thigh rubbing ever so gently. Natasha smiled and grabbed a pillow off the bed, tossing it on the floor between Steve’s legs. The place was hardwood flooring throughout and she wasn’t going to hurt her knees unnecessarily. Pillow in place, Natasha lowered herself, something she didn’t do for just anybody, and ran her hands over Steve’s body. She took her time, teasing him several times by unzipping then dipping away, or opening the plackets of his pants then sliding her hands over his sides. She did it over and over until there were no more tiny tasks she could do to reveal him without revealing him. 

When she did, Natasha was not disappointed. Just like the rest of him, Steve was _big_. Not scary, cross your legs or run in fear big, just nicely sized with a good heft and girth. And like the rest of him, his cock was attractive. (For a cock.) She ran her hand up and down his length a few times, assessing the lay of the land as it were. Steve groaned deeply, thighs trembling as she hovered over the head, lips parted in an O as she moved down to take him in. She took her time, the firm O of her lips playing with the head of his cock. “Jesus, Natasha,” Steve breathed, his hand landing on her shoulder as she inched lower. 

Her hands were not idle in this, one at the base of his cock pumping slowly away while the other massaged his chest, stroked his neck. He hunched over her, trying not to move his hips but unable to stay still pretty much anywhere else. It was possibly one of the more adorable quirks she’d noticed about him. And he had a few. Natasha started to bob and that was when Captain America, Mr. “Language”, stared to swear. 

It wasn’t elegantly woven into his sentences, more like it was all his brain could really process were the words: “My God” and “Fuck that’s good.” Still, it was all the encouragement she needed. Making a guy go brainless while giving head was kind of a hard won skill for her so she was proud she could do it to him. When he got to: “So fucking close, Nat,” she backed off, giving herself a breather and her jaw a little rest. She laid her cheek on his thigh, eyes closing a moment as he reached down to brush a lock of hair behind her ear. “That was amazing.” 

“There’s a rumor about you,” Natasha said as she rocked back onto her heels and sat a moment looking up at him. “Or rather a theory.”  
“A theory,” Steve asked, distracted as hell because Natasha was reaching behind her to unfasten one hook at a time. 

“That you have next to no refractory period….” At Steve’s confused look, Natasha clarified. “You can cum multiple times and it doesn’t take a lot to get you back.” 

“OH… that’s a theory,” Steve grimaced. “Um… yeah, that’s true,” he told her with a blush. But that was all Natasha needed to hear. She slowly slid out of her bra, letting the left strap fall down her arm as she held it in place at the sides. “Natasha.” She smiled demurely up at him before letting the rest drop inch by inch and with his help. “Have I said you’re beautiful yet?” His fingers caressed the curve of her breasts, cupping them and holding them up a moment before letting them fall naturally again. Natasha let him play as he liked, leaning forward to take the head of his cock into her mouth to suck. 

Between her being bare on top and his cock down her throat, Steve was cumming minutes later, gasping out her name with an iron grip on her shoulder. It didn’t hurt, she just knew she wasn’t going anywhere. “My God,” he repeated, pulling her up to sit on his leg so they could kiss. It wasn’t a shy kiss like she’d expected, this was no less intimate or deep than the first ones and Natasha was pleased by that. “You’re amazing.” 

“You’re not getting soft,” she pointed out. 

“I went down a little,” he countered, looking down at himself. Natasha took a second to glance in the mirror and quickly fix her lipstick. It wasn’t bad considering the activities she’d been up to. Apparently the drag queen she’d gotten the tip on a brand from had been right… you could practically suck dick in a hurricane and not have it smudge. 

“Not much. But then that’s good for me,” Natasha pointed out, her hands caressing his chest. “Let’s get you the rest of the way out of those pants, huh?” Nat had taken off his shoes and socks while she was down there, but now they stood and she was able to remove the rest of his clothing. She felt overdressed in her lingerie set, but powerful. 

“I want to return the favor,” Steve told her with a hand lingering at her hip. “But I’m not sure how to get all this off of you.” Natasha smiled and reached behind herself, unsnapping the back before doing the same with the front leaving her sex bared to him. “Well I’ll be damned.” 

“It’s really not so bad once you get used to it,” Natasha told him as his hand moved of its own volition, brushing his knuckles gently against her as he kissed her right breast. He did a lot of that at first, glancing touches like he wasn’t quite certain he was allowed. She slipped out of his grasp, heading to the bed with a little smile. He watched her with such intensity, Natasha could feel Steve’s eyes on her skin as she crawled into bed and got comfortable. He seemed stuck on watching so Natasha patted the bed next to her, an invitation to get his head back in the game. 

Steve hopped into bed like an eager puppy about to get the best belly scratches ever. And, really, maybe he was. Natasha groaned when he kissed her navel, moving down in a straight line until he found what he was looking for. Say what you would about Steve’s time being sexless or repressed, but the guy knew what he was doing. He used slow, deliberate strokes of tongue and fingers to get Natasha to the brink embarrassingly quickly. Steve’s fingers were really what did it. They were so sure and filled her just right that he had her squirming in no time and calling out his name just after that. “Steve… Steve, I’m….” Her voice was strained and Steve nodded, letting her know he got the message and went right back to doing what he’d been doing. 

She came for him, crying out his name over and over as he just held on and kept doing what he’d been doing. Bless him, Natasha thought. A man with a lick of sense, who knew that when the woman was cumming was not the time to switch it up and try something cute. No, you just kept doing what you were doing until she asked you to stop. Natasha had to do just that soon after, pushing at Steve’s shoulder to get him to retreat. “Come here,” Natasha urged, wanting to get her hands on him. Steve settled in against her, his cock pressed to her belly was nice and hard so she knew what was next and God did she want it. She wanted him, had done for a long time now. At first it was surface, she wanted to fuck Captain America but that soon morphed to wanting Steve of his own volition. 

Of course he didn’t need to know any of that, she thought as she brought her legs up around his waist, pulling him down to get him in position. She manhandled him like she would an opponent, watching the smile on his face that she wasn’t pulling any punches. “I want this,” Natasha told him as she felt the head of his cock brush her folds. “I want you, Steve.” He pushed into her in one solid thrust, burying half his cock. She let out a raspy, throaty sound as he pushed the rest of the way home, groaning as she laid there trying to adjust. Steve leaned in and kissed her forehead, her temple, her cheek all before he kissed her properly just as his hips started to move. 

Steve was as good as she’d imagined, tender but firm and so intent on pleasing her. Natasha stroked his hair as he took her, legs spread wide offering no resistance whatsoever. She wanted this, wanted him, more than she could say. And from the way he was looking at her, there were a lot of mutual feelings that weren’t going to get expressed any other way. Steve rocked into her deep, making Natasha’s leg twitch and he body clamp down on him hard. “Like that,” she encouraged, grabbing his hips and urging him to keep up the same pace. “Close…. Steve,” she breathed, grateful he was hunkered down tight around her because as she came on him, Natasha felt like she might float away. Steve kept up his pace until she had to pull back and catch her breath, shuddering, gasping softly now and then when an aftershock hit her. 

“You’re stunning like that,” he told her with a crimson flush on his cheeks. 

“… you like the way I look when I cum,” Natasha asked him with a little smile watching his blush turn darker. “Then you should keep going. Maybe cum with me this time.” She caressed his face, leaning in to kiss him as she shifted down on him once more. “Think you can manage that?” 

“I’ll manage,” Steve assured her.

Natasha gave him a little push to sit up, watching as the low twinkle of the Christmas lights fluttered against Steve’s chest. She followed him, managing to shift their positions until she was on top riding him, something she enjoyed quite a bit in the end. The mix of the pleasure he gave her and the fact that she could just stare at him if she liked, could outright ogle his chest, ass, cock… well it was a nice Christmas present for herself. Natasha bounced on Steve, running her hands down the fronts of his thighs as she did. He was trembling beneath like a horse about to cross the finish line. 

To his credit, Steve held himself in check long enough for Natasha to take her pleasure again. This time she was on top so she was in control of keeping things going, and Natasha didn’t falter. Her body was on a mission plain and simple, and when she achieved her goal only then could she rest. And would she ever. Natasha had missed her window out of the city so she was stuck here another 24 hours at least. Hopefully they’d be able to keep the little flat another day. She could think of worse things than holing up with Steve for another day or two eating leftovers and cumming her brains out. Well, she’d done half of that. As she came down she registered that Steve was finishing, politely letting loose on her thighs. He managed to avoid most of the damage to her lingerie set which was rather kind of him. 

They lay there for awhile, side by side, just catching their collective breath. Natasha felt something nudge her hand and looked down to see Steve’s fingers lacing with her own. She could love this man if he’d allow it. She doubted very highly though that anything she could do in the present would outweigh what someone else did for him in the past. She’d seen that compass. She put it out of her mind as she held his hand, enjoying the silence until her stomach cut in with a perceptible rumble. 

“You ok,” Steve asked.

“I’m starving,” Natasha admitted with a laugh. It wasn’t even a full minute later and Steve was peeling himself off of her, sliding out of bed. Natasha’s eyes were glued to Steve’s backside as he got out of bed, standing there for a moment giving her doe eyes. He hurried to the other room and back, handing over the bag from the diner. “My hero,” Natasha sighed as she started to unpack the food, thrilled that he was happy to eat in bed with her. She’d feared he was about to ask her to get up, heaven forbid. 

“All part of the service,” Steve teased kneeling in bed next to her to help. They sat there eating the plate Steve had brought back from the diner, feeding each other bites of stuffing and turkey. They rightly opted for forks for some of it, but did still feed each other bites of cranberry and mashed potato. Most of it got into mouths, some of it got kissed from corners of mouths or off fingertips, but all of it got eaten. Steve got out of bed one more time to clear the bones of their meal before settling down next to her in bed. 

He was warm and big and strong and, for the evening, hers. Natasha was happy for that, even maybe proud of it. She nestled in next to him under the covers, tightly cupped to his side as Steve turned to kiss her forehead. “You’ll stay the night,” he asked.

Natasha nodded and got a kiss for her trouble, a real lingering one tasting of their meal and the meal they’d made of each other. They’d need to air the place out, she thought with a little smile just as Steve leaned in to kiss her again. “Merry Christmas, Natasha.”  
“Merry Christmas, Steve.”


End file.
